Turning 70 – The Age of the Hoary Head
Apparently I have a hoary head. At least according to some translations of the Mishnah.
I find myself somewhat surprised to be celebrating my 70th birthday today. I don’t feel 70. I think I feel more like 50. But I was born on this day in 1955, which, doing the math, is now 70 years ago. As they say, “Inside every 70 year old is a 20 year old wondering what the hell happened.”
Pirkei Avot, “The Ethics of the Fathers” has a passage where they give different ages for different things; five for Torah study, ten for Mishnah, etc. I’ve quoted it on my 50th and 60th birthday posts. The Hebrew for 70 is ben shivim l’saivah, which is variously translated as “the hoary head” or “fullness of years.” Hoary head just means you’ve got white hair. Fullness of years probably makes more sense, a word related to saivah means satisfied, fulfilled. In other words, I’ve lived the biblical allotment of years, same as King David; whatever I get from here on out is “extra credit.”
I like to look back on my life at these decade intervals. I realize I am amazingly blessed (kein einah harah, p’tu p’tu p’tu). I have five daughters, four grandkids, and thank God they are all doing well. I have a loving partner, friends, and good health. At the age of 70 I still can do all the things I enjoy doing: I’m training for a half marathon in two weeks (ten years ago I was training for a full marathon), I did a 70km bike ride today in honor of turning 70, I still fly small airplanes, ride motorcycles, ski black diamond slopes, SCUBA dive, travel both internationally and in my motorhome. I still learn, write, enjoy good coffee, good wine, good whisky, and deep conversations. I enjoy listening to and making music. I have meaningful volunteer work with the Civil Air Patrol and Conservative Judaism’s Committee on Jewish Law and Standards. I have all original body parts, and have been spared, thus far, any major health issues.
But it is obvious that time is taking something of a toll. My running times are getting slower at an increasingly rapid pace. My vision is not quite as sharp, my hearing not quite as good.
It’s also a little scary turning 70. There’s no denying you’re getting closer to major health issues of some kind. And more friends and family in your age group die. A good friend recently lost his partner, a woman who was 75 and had been very healthy and active until she was diagnosed with cancer and died six weeks later. Since I’m “bi-homal” (have two homes) I did a birthday celebration in Israel for my friends and family there and am doing one here in New Mexico for the American side. One of my friends at the Israeli celebration said, “Yeah, I was healthy until I turned 70, and then things started falling apart.” Oops. Thanks for that Mike!
When you’re young you have no idea of what it will be like to get old. My grandparents were definitely old by the time they were my age. Well, my grandfather had been dead for three years, after his fifth heart attack, by the time he was my age. He was old at 60, and I’m not yet old at 70. I think the assumption (wrong) is that life will somehow not be as fun or rewarding when you’re older. But I think I’m happier now than I ever was. The greatest blessing of reaching retirement age is having control over your time. I get to do what I want to do, when I want to do it, with who I want to do it with. That is such an amazing blessing. Freedom.
It’s not stress free. There’s always something you can worry about. Like finances. My retirement would have been more comfortable financially if I had stayed in Silicon Valley instead of quitting that world to become a rabbi. It would have been more comfortable financially if I’d stayed in pulpit work in North America instead of up and immigrating to Israel. But my life is so much richer for those choices, there is no regret.
And the two countries I love, Israel and America, are both in difficult times. But today, on my birthday, I’ve been dialing that out and focusing on gratitude. Life is good.
70 and still kicking. Just not as high…
